Snow in Snellville! (By: Michele Babcock-Nice)

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Snow-covered tree in Snellville, Georgia, January 23, 2016

It has been about two years since there has been snow in Snellville, Georgia.  I, for one, have missed it!  It was a pleasure to awaken this morning to a slight covering of snow on the ground.  I took some photos around my yard this morning at 11:00 AM, reflecting some of the snow.  By 1:00 PM, it had all melted away!

With the blizzard conditions being experienced to the north of us, I was hoping that we would get more snow here today.  It’s always fun to make a snow man with my son or pull him around in the sled through the yard.

This weekend, we were planning to take a ski trip to North Carolina with my son’s scout troop.  What a disappointment it was not to go as a result of the weather conditions!

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Daffodils on snow-covered ground in Snellville, Georgia, January 23, 2016

When one grows up in ski country, one must take advantage of all the fun that the snowy winter conditions have to offer.  For all of those folks who have a distaste for snow and winter weather, I dislike the cold, but I love the snow.  In order to avoid cabin fever, it is important in areas that experience snow to have outdoor activities that one enjoys.

What I really miss about not living in a snowy winter region is the skiing, as well as snowmobiling.  Making snow people and snow angels, having snowball fights, munching on icicles – or just walking in the snow and enjoying its beauty – are activities that I miss.

Of course, I do not miss the high heating bills in winter, nor driving in treacherous conditions involving snow, ice, and slush.  I do not miss the road salt that eats up my vehicle, and requires me to wash it, frequently, at the car wash.  I do not miss water dripping through the ceiling due to all of the snow on the roof of the house.

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Icy bird baths on snow-covered ground in Snellville, Georgia, January 23, 2016

And, I do not miss frostbite (which I have experienced once in the past) due to the polar conditions.  I can further leave behind the extreme wind chills that make the outdoor temperatures so much colder than they really are.

There are definitely positive and negative things that one can experience as a result of snowy, winter weather.  I’m glad to have had these experiences, particularly so that I can know how to best care for myself and my family in conditions such as these.

Be prepared, think carefully, and be safe out there!

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The Good Things that Come from Added Financial Support (By: Michele Babcock-Nice)

Money

Money (Retrieved from blogs.kqed.org, January 16, 2016)

This week, there were three lottery tickets that were sold with winning numbers for the lottery jackpot of $1.6 billion.  Just hearing about the extremely high jackpot was incredible to me, not to mention more incredible that the winners of the three winning tickets will be splitting those monies between them.  That kind of money is simply that which I am unable to fathom.  I mean, what does one do with 100s of millions of dollars?  Certainly, it is nice to have money.  More than just enough to live on, with a bit of a cushion or buffer, is always good.  But, being the winner of a lottery jackpot requires a lifestyle change that is likely a difficult adjustment for some.

Believing myself to be a person who is not very “lucky,” I am not a gambler.  There are definitely certain calculated risks that I have taken in my life, I have invested in the stock market in the past, and I have earned some money on some investments, however I am not one to play the lottery.  In fact, I think I may have played the lottery only once.  That was in a similar situation in the past few years when the jackpot was insanely high.  I really just played it for the fun of it, and bought only one ticket.  The odds of ever being the winner just never pan out in those types of situations anyway.  Why put money out there if there will be no return on it?  And I already know that I am generally not a person who is “lucky,” so why waste my money.  That’s my philosophy.

I am a person, however, who will apply for scholarships, grants, fellowships, and monetary awards.  In the past, I have applied for several of them, and have received them. Most recently, between six to seven years ago when I was earning my healthcare certificate at a local technical college, I received the Hope Grant which helped finance my studies.  I am thankful to all of the taxpayers out there in Georgia who supported my education in healthcare.  I believe the grant I received was about $750 per semester for three semesters. That was really helpful!

More recently, in the past three years, I have applied for several scholarships and a grant to support my studies in counseling.  Unfortunately, while I have been eligible to receive them, I have not been selected to get any of them.  I applied for merit and academic scholarships at my university, and would likely be among the top candidates for receipt of them, however none have been awarded to me.  Within the past two months, I applied for a $5,000 grant in the counseling field through a national counseling organization, and was not selected for that either.  More recent than that, I wrote an essay for yet another national counseling organization in application for another scholarship, and am waiting to hear back – probably that I was not selected to receive it.

Certainly, I have the writing skills, and I have the knowledge, commitment, and dedication to always do my best in whatever I do.  However, receiving $500, $1,000, or – can you imagine – $5,000 would really go a long way for me.  I often wonder why it is that those people who sometimes have the greatest financial need are those who are most often overlooked.  I would be happy to provide my tax returns for the past several years to reflect my financial status and to prove my financial need.  This, however, never seems to be good enough.

So, here I am again, back at square one.  I am glad not to have gotten my hopes up about any of those grants or scholarships.  I could have recently applied for a fellowship, as well, but the particular organization that hosted it wanted winners to invest too much out of pocket than I am willing to do.  At any rate, it would have been nice to receive even a small scholarship or financial award rather than financing so much of my education for my second graduate level degree through student loans.  Obtaining the $5,000 grant could have already paid down the interest that has accrued on my student loans.

I cannot say that I did not try.  At least I made the effort to apply for these scholarships and the grant.  Now I know that I would not have received them whether I applied or not, but at least I applied.  One never knows unless you try.  I have gained nothing, but I have lost nothing either.  I am not that discouraged because I did not elevate my hopes for anything, though it would have been nice to receive a small sum to support my efforts toward becoming established in the counseling profession.

 

On Having a Difficult Mother (By: Michele Babcock-Nice)

I wonder how many of you out there can relate to having a difficult mother?  This is a topic about which I have never publicly addressed, however I have privately journaled about it, often, in the past.  I was thinking that, perhaps, it may be somewhat therapeutic for me to put it out there.  So, what makes a difficult mother and how does one cope with her?

Having a difficult mother for nearly 45 years (my entire life) has taught me alot.  Certainly, I am thankful to have my mother and I love my mother, though I recognize that I love her in a manner that is quite emotionally detached.  This is how I have learned to cope with my difficult mother, in order to protect myself, emotionally.

What currently makes my mother difficult is that her behavior can be very critical, negative, jealous, resentful, selfish, abrasive, and stressful.  In times gone by, her behavior was sometimes more than difficult, though I learned to cope with and survive that, too.  Of course, there have been many times in my life in which my mother has been supportive, helpful, loving, and encouraging, though the times in which she has not have been most hurtful of all.

My mother is a person who typically has nothing good to say about anything.  She is a person for whom nothing will please.  A person could knock themselves out making the greatest efforts to please her, and it will never be good enough.  Thankfully, I learned that in enough time (in my teens) to save my own identity from any greater dysfunction or deterioration.

Of course, I have analyzed my mother’s personality and behavior, and I realize that she is who she is as a result of her family, upbringing, and environment.  She is the third of four children in her family, and I believe was likely one who needed a certain amount of attention as a child since she was the youngest for many years before her younger brother was born.  Perhaps she learned to act out for attention, or perhaps she had to fend for herself against her older brother and sister, who seemed to be more bonded to each other than they were to her, as she has expressed.

I further recognize that my mother is her mother’s daughter.  My grandmother “Babcia” was a strong-willed and independent-minded woman, but one whose perspective was also very negative, critical, and pessimistic.  She was further one for whom nothing was ever good enough.  I believe this is where my own mother gets that from.

I came to terms with having a difficult mother many years ago.  I realize that she is never going to change.  After all, why should she?  She is who she is and does not recognize or have any desire for positive change in herself.  She has been the way she is for nearly 72 years, and she is quite set in her ways.

So, I am the one who recognized that, in order to survive, emotionally, I was the one who had to change – and I did.  I changed my perspective about my difficult mother to one that recognizes that she is who she is, she will never change, she does not recognize any need for positive change, she does not realize the hurtfulness and harm that her words and actions often cause, and it is better to readjust my own thinking and behavior not to allow this to negatively affect me.

Consequently, and not out of any actual desire to do so, I have become detached from my mother.  Our society teaches that, typically, mothers are expected to be nurturing, loving, caring, and supportive – all of the characteristics which I reflect to my own son.  However, not all mothers are this way.  I recognize that what I want in my own mother is something that I will never receive.  And so, while it is discouraging and disappointing, it is something that I have accepted.

I additionally recognize that I do not have to be like my mother, as many of her characteristics and behaviors were like those of her own mother – my babcia.  Family is family, and I will always love my family, but I believe there are certain levels and definitions of love.  Love can obviously mean different things to different people.  And, while I love my mother, it is not the same love that I have for my dad.  While I recognize and understand that my dad is always supportive of my mom, even in questionable situations and those that may create increased stress or conflict, I feel more bonded toward him than I do to my mother.  And, I also recognize that it’s okay.  I’m okay with it.

After my son was born, the things that really got to me about my mom, however, were those of her negative and immature behaviors toward him.  There has been many a time where I have put my foot down and have had heated arguments with her about treating my son – her only grandchild – better.  While I won’t go into detail here, some of the manners in which she has treated my son have definitely been difficult, stressful, and unnecessary.

What saddens me the most, though, is that my son is already recognizing that, in order to emotionally-preserve himself from her abrasive words and behaviors – he must also emotionally detach from her.  This is not something that I really want him to learn because I hope that, in the future, he is able to bond with a wonderful woman who will become his wife.  However, I understand and support his need for emotional protection and self-preservation from a woman who is difficult, negative, and critical, and who never sees the harm in others that she causes.  My son is aware of how my mother treated my brother and I when we were children, and she will never treat my son that way, or she knows she risks losing her relationship with us.  It is sad, however, that neither of us can truly be ourselves – and be accepted for it – when we are around her.

I am glad to have a mother, but having a difficult mother is certainly difficult.  It has always been difficult.  This is why I believe that I can listen to other peoples’ problems and issues, and be supportive and understanding.  I’ve had my share of troubles and difficulties in my life, and I can certainly relate to them.  It always shocks, me, however whenever someone comments to me that they believe I have it together, that I do not seem to need anyone (but I do), and that I do not appear to have particular needs.

Perhaps I am good at hiding it, though more often than not, those deep issues are private to me, and are not things that I share with just anyone.  I have to know someone so well that I would trust him/her with my life before I shared some of those deep issues.  And, I recognize that about myself and get the support that I need when I need it, too.  That helps me maintain my own sanity, or I would certainly not appear to be in the “good” mental shape that I would like to believe I am.

So, that’s all I’m going to say about my difficult mother.  I know if she were ever to read this, I would never hear the end of it.  But, at this point, I do not really care.  I love my mother and she knows that – it is just a type of love that is detached and for which I have learned to preserve myself.  I have to believe I am a better, smarter, stronger, and kinder person than I believe my mother thinks I am.  These – and my son and strong religious faith – are that which keep me going, one step at a time.

 

This Wild Weather! (By: Michele Babcock-Nice)

The Earth's Face (Retrieved from huffington.com, January 16, 2016)

The Earth’s Face (Retrieved from huffington.com, January 16, 2016)

As a society, we must become increasingly concerned about the weather, the environment, our planet, and the sustainability that remains on Earth.  On Christmas Day here in Snellville, Georgia in the United States, the outside high temperature at my home was 76.5 degrees Fahrenheit.  While it was wonderful to enjoy such balmy weather in the winter, we must be reminded that such a temperature is off the chart for this time of year!  Such high temperatures in winter are definitely disturbing and unsettling.  The expected temperature in my area for this time of year is likely between 35 to 45 degrees Fahrenheit, so the 76.5 that was reached recently is definite cause for concern.

During the last week of December 2015, it was so warm at my home that I had windows open and the heat was off.  My heat was off for the entire week – in the last week of December!  Rather than turn on the air conditioning – which I simply was unable to bring myself to do – I believed it a better alternative to allow the outside air to flow through the house by opening some windows.  I’m not sure that Mother Nature knows what is going on either; she definitely appears to be confused!

This brings me to the causes of such wild weather.  If we look back even 100 or 150 years ago, we will see a more substantial amount of forest coverage on Earth.  Last year, my son completed a project about international deforestation, and the information he gathered was shocking!  The Amazon rain forest, as well as old growth forests in Columbia, Canada, the United States, and other countries continue to disappear at alarmingly rapid rates.  When I think of the absence of all of those trees, I also think about the decrease in oxygen produced for our consumption, and the increase in carbon dioxide that also contributes to higher air temperatures and the greenhouse effect.

Pollution and acid rain are other factors that negatively affect our environment, increasing air temperatures and damaging or killing trees, respectively.  The United States is a country that has implemented and done much to enforce laws to decrease pollution being cast into the environment.  While more could be done here, it is already more than what is being done in many other highly populated countries around the globe.  In places such as China, Russia, India, Mexico, and other countries, I wonder what, if any, laws regulating pollution exist or which may be enforced at all?

About 25 years ago, I first visited Eastern and Western Europe, studying in Poland for part of one summer.  I recall that the smog and pollution in Warsaw, Poland hung over the city like a large black cloud.  When I first saw it, I thought it unusual that a rain cloud appeared so low over the ground, and concentrated and immobilized directly over the city.  In the next moment, I realized that it was all of the pollution in the air.  It was incredible!

While washing my hair in the shower in my dorm at Krakow, Poland, it was as if brown dye was coming off of my hair – and I have never dyed my hair!  It was sickening to see and realize the great amount of pollution in which the people in Poland lived.  While I stayed in Poland, I made sure to drink imported, bottled spring water, and to occasionally wash the dirt and grime out of my hair with it, as well.  It is no wonder all of the people who had cancer, miscarriages, and other medical conditions in Poland when they are breathing polluted air, and cooking with and drinking polluted water.  It was definitely angering and saddening to think that I could do nothing about it to help those people.

Further, this brings us to sustainability.  How many more resources remain on Earth to sustain people, plants, animals, and to maintain a healthy and safe environment for all into the future?  It is quite possible that Earth is already beyond it’s carrying capacity.  With average yearly temperatures continuing to increase, the Polar ice caps melting, vast forests disappearing, pollution continuing to devastate the environment, further expansion of the holes in the ozone layer, huge oil spills in the oceans, what will be left, not only for us, but for our future generations?  Will there be future generations that will be able to adequately function and survive on Earth?

We, as a people, have contributed to the destruction of our planet.  We are destroying our beautiful habitat.  So much more must be done to save our planet, but I wonder if it may already be too late?  We all have to do our part.  Sometimes, we may wonder how much one person can do, however I believe it is important to do whatever possible.  One person can recycle as much of their waste as possible – plastics, metals, glass, paper, cardboard.  One person can use less electricity, natural gas, and gasoline.  One person can wear a sweater or use a wool blanket rather than cranking up the heat another notch or two.  One person can take fewer and more economical trips driving a vehicle, combining all errands into one trip rather than several on different days.

Certainly, I do not have the power to enforce laws that regulate pollution or that protect our environment, especially when it comes to big companies.  However, I am one who can say that I have done my part, that I have done as much as possible to preserve the environment, and to teach and encourage others to do the same.  I can encourage children and adults to have an appreciation for the outdoors, to learn about the environment, and to be aware of ways to save and protect it.  I can take responsibility for reducing the pollution and energy use that I cause, and to oversee the recycling efforts of my family.

I have to believe that one person can make a difference, even if it is a small difference.  And, I am a person who lives to make whatever positive difference that I can, not only for myself, but for others, as well.  How will you make a positive difference for our environment, for future generations?  What will you do?  Whatever you will do, do it now, before it’s too late!

Thank You to my Blog Followers (By: Michele Babcock-Nice)

Hands at Keyboard (Retrieved from zahraurae.com, January 16, 2016)

Hands at Keyboard (Retrieved from zahraurae.com, January 16, 2016)

Already, another year of blogging has passed and I am into the next one.  I must say that I have been somewhat remiss in keeping up with blogging about many interests and issues that I would have liked to, particularly in the past six months or so, however it is a comfort to know that this WordPress platform is here when I have the time for it.

Therefore, I would like to take a moment and express my appreciation to the 34 regular followers of my blog, for recently attaining 100 “likes,” and for amassing nearly 26,500 hits to my page!  While I have not kept up with the specific stats this past year regarding the most popular topics on my blog, and it is not a goal to acquire an obscene amount of followers or hits, I am grateful that there are those out there who read and take some enjoyment from my posts.

So, thank you, again, and I hope you continue to have an interest in my posts on WordPress! 🙂