Recently, a man commented on one of my blog posts that I made last year regarding a particular school in which bullying (and worse) occurred by children and adults toward other children. What was so shocking to me was that the man basically stated that he was physically abused by religious at a parochial school during his childhood, and he inferred that children should currently be treated more harshly (infer more abuse and violence) than what they already endure in many schools. In responding to the man – and seeking to provide information for his understanding of the seriousness of the issue – I stated to him that bullying, abuse, and violence is extremely serious in the United States. The United States has the highest child mortality rate of any Western country. And, in the United States, Texas is the state with the highest single mortality rate (about 4%) of any state.
Why isn’t the American public outraged about that?! Why do more people not stand up for and protect children, nor seek to listen to, hear, and understand them? Why is it so easy for so many people to minimize, overlook, ignore, and discredit children? It is no wonder that so many children and youth commit suicide when they do not receive the assistance and/or protection that they need from their families – or other adults, and then, experience bullying, abuse, and/or violence at school. Children and youth are so vulnerable. They are growing and developing, and are going through stages of their lives in which they are most fragile.
Too many people believe that children and youth should be harmed – and then, they call it discipline or disciplinary action. Children and youth need support, care, kindness, understanding, and compassion. How does American society expect children to grow and develop in a healthy manner when many of their role models, teachers, coaches, and/or other adults bully and harm them? What is worse in a Catholic or religious faith-based school is when the expectation is that children are to be valued and appreciated, but are bullied and harmed by many of the very adults who are charged with protecting them. The situation is not restricted to faith-based schools, but is present in all too many schools in the United States, both public and private.
I believe that much of the issue relates to the toleration, acceptance, encouragement, and promotion of violence – particularly media violence – within our culture. So many television shows, movies, and other programs that have been deemed “entertainment” are so horrific that I have rarely watched them, now, over a period of many years. Yet, for many people, the more violence they view, the more they want. It is as if there is a competition in the United States in media and entertainment to produce more and more violent shows and movies. That would not occur if people did not spend so much money to view violence, to play violent video games, to participate in sports that are violent, etc.
Thus, I have broached a few more topics about which most people do not want to contemplate, talk about, or take action to prevent or eliminate. These are, however, issues that must be brought into the open and discussed if there is any hope for improvement in regard to them within our culture. One person who takes his or her life due to bullying and abuse is too many. Yet, there are dozens of children and youth who commit suicide in the United States, with such deaths continually on the rise. Last I knew, there were about 135 reported deaths due to suicide in the United States in one recent year. There are likely many more that are not reported. And, many of these children and youth who commit suicide have been bullied and harmed at school, by their peers and/or teachers.
I have taken the liberty to post several links regarding children and youth who have committed suicide in such circumstances so that the man who posted his comment, saying that my article was “stupid” can have a better understanding that when someone is dead, the situation is too late to improve – and is far from “stupid.” For this man, ignorance is bliss. Following, therefore, are just a few of the 100s of links on the Internet (in no particular order), all of which I retrieved on April 30, 2014, related to children and youth who have committed suicide due to bullying and/or abuse experienced at school from their peers and/or teachers:
“Bullied 10-year-old girl commits suicide.” http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Girl+Commits+Suicide+On+Camera&Form=VQFRVP#view=detail&mid=7A9D5FDFA0071FC8A1657A9D5FDFA0071FC8A165
“Suicide of Amanda Todd.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Amanda_Todd
“Suicide of Phoebe Prince.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Phoebe_Prince
“Suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamey_Rodemeyer (One of my student teaching experiences was at a school that he attended, Heim Middle School, in the Williamsville (New York) Central School District.)
“Gay Ottawa teen who killed himself was bullied: Jamie Hubley was a figure skater and the only openly gay boy in his school.” http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/gay-ottawa-teen-who-killed-himself-was-bullied-1.1009474
“Suicide of Kelly Yeomans.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly_Yeomans
“Girl commits suicide after boyfriend sends her naked photos to fellow students, Family receives $154K from school.” http://news.asiantown.net/r/26323/Girl-commits-suici–100-e-after-boyfriend-sends-her-nak–101-d-photos-to-fellow-students–Family-receives–154K-from-school
“Girls, 12 and 14, arrested in death of bullied Florida girl who killed herself.” http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/10/15/girls-12-and-14-arrested-in-death-bullied-florida-girl-police-say/
“How a cell phone picture led to a girl’s suicide.” http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/07/hope.witsells.story/index.html
“Georgia middle-schooler commits suicide after bullying, being called ‘snitch,’ dad says.” http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/04/05/17616979-georgia-middle-schooler-commits-suicide-after-bullying-being-called-snitch-dad-says?lite
“Bullying allegations probed after boy, 15, commits suicide after first day of school.” http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/08/29/bullying-allegations-probed-after-boy-15-commits-suicide-after-first-day-school/
“Anti-gay bullying cited in Georgia teen’s suicide.” http://www.projectqatlanta.com/news_articles/view/anti-gay_bullying_cited_in_georgia_teens_suicide
“My bullied son’s last day on Earth.” http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bullying.suicide/ (It is difficult to believe this already happened five years ago; I remember the news about it.)
“Ex-teacher gets 30 days for rape of girl, 14; judge says she was ‘older than her chronological age.’ ” http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/ex-teacher_gets_30_days_for_sex_with_student_14_judge_says_she_was_older_th/ (I am aware that the National Organization for Women made a formal complaint against the judge in this case, desiring his removal as a result of the sentence that he gave this man. The girl committed suicide.)
“Teacher Kidnaps, Rapes Boy.” http://abcnews.go.com/US/video?id=7390696
“Mary Kay Letourneau.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau
“Columbine High School massacre.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbine_High_School_massacre
These 17 articles represent at least 29 people who died, either by suicide or homicide, in relation to bullying and/or abuse by peers, or abuse by teachers. The articles also represent at least two other survivors of abuse who remain living. The victims and survivors in each of these articles are reason enough why bullying and abuse must be taken more seriously, and be prevented and eliminated, especially in our schools. Hopefully, the man who commented on a different one of my blog posts in relation to this issue no longer views it as “stupid.” 😦
As a result of the comments made by the particular man in regard to a prior post relating to these issues, I have been inspired to create a new LinkedIn group, “Stop Youth Suicide.” I created the group today, and promoted it within 30 LinkedIn groups, and invited 70 people on LinkedIn from around the world to join. Six fellow LinkedIn members – most of whom are mental health professionals – have already joined the group as of 5:30 PM Eastern Time today. I have also promoted the group on Twitter, and will continue to do so. Today, I have also gained additional followers and “likes” on Twitter as a result of creating this group. (As of 1:30 PM Eastern Time on May 4, 2014, there are 55 members of the group!)
The comments made by the particular man – and the thoughts and attitudes of so many regarding these issues – definitely reflect the need for increased understanding, sensitivity, compassion, and support toward children and youth, especially those who are contemplate, attempt, and/or commit suicide as a result of bullying and abuse, that which is especially experienced at school from peers and adults.