Rejection. Yes, that bad word. It is part of our vocabulary, and is not a very nice word. For some of us, it has been part of our vocabulary for much too long. Nobody likes rejection. It is, indeed, very painful. Especially if one’s heart is set on something – or someone – rejection can be particularly painful, even crippling. I can personally share, however, that the more rejection one experiences, the easier it is to take.
After having experienced much rejection (more than I like to think about) throughout the course of a number of years regarding employment, I stopped actively seeking work and returned to school. When the school goals didn’t materialize as I had hoped, I took some time to reorganize my thoughts and set about continuing to do what I enjoy the most – being a mom, and writing.
Having stepped out of my career, it has been all that much more difficult to gain re-entry. And, everyone always has lots of advice, though I believe that I have tried everything that everyone has suggested. If they say it, I’ve done it. The thing is, one can’t just change the way in which people think. They must be open and willing to consider flexibility and creativity in employment scheduling and responsibilities. If employers are unable to do that, they have already rejected potential employees, by default.
Thankfully, I have family support and am able to get by. It is very difficult, however, for outspoken women, especially those who are a little older, to get ahead in a society that doesn’t seem to want to hear us, and would often rather put us in our place. Certainly, there are many women who get ahead by just saying “yes,” however I need to be able to sleep at night, and if something is not correct – morally or ethically – then it is not suitable for me. It always amazes me regarding the number of people who can say or do things that I would not consider, and they are totally okay with it.
Recently, not looking for employment, I was offered a part-time job in the area of writing education. Admittedly, I was very excited, but didn’t get my hopes up too highly. The per hour wage was certainly very good, however that it would have required several days out of my week to drive quite far from my home put a damper on things very quickly. I probably would have paid just as much to gas up my vehicle as I would have earned in income. While it would have been nice, it would have been nicer if it was closer to home.
Further, a contact of mine recently asked for some advice about job-seeking and career transitions. While I provided advice about several different topics, I also know that everyone can always give advice and is full of advice. It is truly what is in one’s heart and within their inner spirit that must guide them and to which they must turn to uplift them. In seeking employment or even voluntary positions, we must be real regarding ourselves, our capabilities, and our financial means. In times such as these, I have found that it is better to expect rejection. One is definitely not nearly as injured in his or her self-confidence if one’s best foot is placed forward, and a rejection is given.
But even more than that, in rejection, one is getting a step closer to gaining or acquiring the position that he or she may desire. And, if one experiences many more rejections than he or she would like to contemplate, one must always reflect on what he or she already has. What talents and skills does one already possess? What is one doing in their time to be creative, to network, to be open to opportunities? Sometimes, just being at the right place at the right time is essential. One must recognize that, as well, and be thankful for it.
One must also keep in mind that, if one is able, going back to college is a wonderful opportunity to update skills, network, meet new people, expand horizons, and just be in a different environment. Where people are open, flexible, and creative, many opportunities abound at colleges for potential employment, internships, and activities. Perhaps participating in or leading one activity may lead to an opportunity one was not expecting. Or, at other times, one’s talents and skills may not be valued at all, and one must seek other opportunities for development and/or advancement.
Luckily, I am not a person who lives for money. My priorities generally reflect more of a “quality of life” perspective, both for myself and my family. I have learned, through the years, that it is not the amount of money one has that makes him or her happy. One’s attitude, perspective, and quality of life that one provides to oneself and one’s family are truly the best. Of course, money is important for survival and we all need a certain amount of it, but it need not be the ultimate end in one’s life.
Therefore, rejection – whether in career, employment, relationships, or otherwise – is definitely painful, but one must keep in mind that rejection can be a good thing. Rejection, depending upon one’s view, can be one step closer to achieving one’s goal, to getting what one desires. Or, in situations of much rejection, it is an opportunity for one to recognize and appreciate what he or she already has, and to capitalize on that.
Rejection certainly can hurt one’s self-confidence – and coming from the Rejection Queen, herself – I understand it’s stunting qualities. However, one must keep their faith and inner strength alive in believing that rejection is not always the worst thing, and that it may, in fact, open doors to other paths untaken that may be more fruitful or beneficial in the long run.