The Road not Taken

Two Roads Diverging in a Yellow Wood, Retrieved March 8, 2023 from https://pallottines.ie/two-roads-diverged-vocation-story-brendan-mccarrick-sac/

I’m going to try this again. This will be my third post related to this topic. The other two posts, I deleted, but I will try to stick with this one. I’m posting about Robert Frost’s (1915) famous poem, “The Road not Taken,” (republished to follow from The Poetry Foundation at https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken):

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

—

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

—

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

—

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

—

I love this poem. It is so real. It is so applicable. It is so palpable. Robert Frost hit the nail on the head with this poem since it so exquisitely relates to many real life experiences. I often share with my son, students, and others that life is all about choices. Frost’s poem is not only about choices, but also about potentially making the “right” choice. Sometimes we know the difference between right and wrong, but we may need some guidance in selecting and/or staying on the right road.

I am so thankful that I have been blessed with a great friend who has helped me more than once to choose and remain on the right path. Sometimes, when you feel you’re getting older and life is passing you by, you wonder what things would be like if life was different, but you must always be honest, responsible, and accountable; keep a clear head and conscience; make the right choices; and follow the road less traveled. My friend reminded me of that and has helped me to stay on the “right” road. What my friend said is extremely important to me, and I will always value it.

Therefore, that brings me to the final thought about my post: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” – And it truly has made all the difference. I am so blessed and thankful!

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The Power of Positive Relationships

Relationship-Building, Retrieved February 8, 2023 from https://vocal.media/journal/reasons-building-relationships-is-important

Today, I have been thinking about the power of positive relationships and how important they truly are. I have been thinking about this for several reasons. First, I am thankful for all of the positive and supportive relationships that I have – and have had – in my life. Sometimes, people do not think much of relationships or give them much credit, but they are extremely valuable and important. My connections with family, friends, colleagues, and community members are based on positive relationships. Now, sometimes, we may not always like to hear or to share certain realities about things, but a true friend will find a way to do it in a healthy and positive way.

I was able to be supportive to two colleagues who reached out to me today with some shocking and unexpected news. They are physically okay, but their lives have been somewhat altered. Without saying what they experienced, suffice it to say that they will have to go in a different direction now. I always believe that when one door is closed, another is opened, and there are reasons for that, even if we do not know exactly what those reasons are. I gave my colleagues – who are also my friends – as much encouragement and support as I could. I am thankful that they both have a strong and positive family network that they can rely on for support because the support I can provide is only minimal.

My being able to be supportive of my collegial friends today is also a reflection of the strong, positive support that I have recently-received in my close relationships. I believe that because of the support these folks provided to me, I was better able to be a support to my colleagues today. Last week, I reached out to a good friend about an issue that I was struggling with, and he responded with wonderful support. He shared his insights with me in an honest, real, and positive way that was helpful to me in clearing my head and getting me back on track with my focus. I also spoke to my son about the same issue, but in more age and life experience-appropriate terms, and he was supportive, as well. I further spoke with a colleague at work about the same issue, and she was additionally supportive. So, these are three people close to me who I spoke with about this issue – and it was a very serious and upsetting issue – and they all provided support and helped me. All three of them gave me excellent counsel to help me overcome the issue, reminding me about what is good, right, and honest. Of course, I know what is good, right, and honest, but in certain situations, one’s brain can become muddled and it can be challenging to clear away the mud.

Therefore, I am so thankful that I have people in my life with whom I have positive relationships that I can reach out to. It takes time to develop relationships, and it takes even more time to maintain strong, positive, and healthy relationships. I understand and appreciate that, but sometimes, people do not want to invest that time or energy, especially for fear that those relationships will not last. Being hurt is definitely no fun. This is sometimes one of the negative effects of divorce – that people are hesitant in investing into a potential future relationship because promises and commitments made in the prior one were not honored. Or, perhaps, someone may have experienced trauma or abuse in prior relationships, and that can be another reason for people to be cautious about investing in relationships, due to the memories of painful experiences.

My ultimate point here is that positive, healthy, supportive relationships are extremely valuable and they are definitely something to be thankful for. I have recognized that more and more throughout my life, and as I have gotten older. The saying is really true that love is like a garden – you have to water it to make it grow. The same is true of any good relationship. And, as my son reminds me, “friendships are good.” One does not necessarily have to be in an intimate relationship with someone to have a good, positive relationship. I am thankful that he reminds of that, too.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

Winter Holiday Evergreen Tree in Sweden – These are the types of Christmases I remember, growing up in Western New York’s Snow Belt (Retrieved December 22, 2022 from https://sweden.se/culture/celebrations/christmas)

It is already that time of the year – the most wonderful time of the year! While I like summer and all of the sunshine here in Georgia, the holiday season and Christmas are really my favorite time of year. Christmas brings to mind many happy memories, occasions, events, gatherings, reunions, gifts, and experiences. I am a person who enjoys experiences most of all, and those experiences that include memories of beloved family and friends are the best of all for me.

I remember Christmases of old, growing up in Western New York State in the Snow Belt, filled with family, food, shopping, gifts, skiing, snowmobiling, and, of course, attending church services, giving thanks to God for His love and all He has provided. I remember music, songs, laughter, and youth that has flown by so fast that even my own son is now a young man.

In my own childhood, I also recall so many Christmas seasons when my dad would string the colorful Christmas lights on the bushes and decorate the front yard with Santa, his sleigh, and reindeer that he handcrafted and handpainted. One year, he won a monetary award for having the best Christmas decorations in our community.

I remember bundling up as if we lived in the Arctic; making snowmen, women, and children; fashioning snow angels; eating icicles; decorating Mom’s yummy Christmas cookies while sneaking spoonfuls of frosting; and getting frostbite on my hand one bitterly cold evening that I went snowmobiling. I remember the hot onion soup with mozzarella that my mom used to make to warm my brother and I after returning home from skiing. Wow, those were the days, and of course, while they were not all great, I choose to hold onto those happy memories of old times.

Times are different now, and while still good, the holidays and Christmas are “smaller” and more compact for me now. My family, consisting of my son and I, already held our Christmas this year so that we could incorporate other plans on the actual day of Christmas. It was our first Christmas with ‘only’ each other, reflecting the changes in both of our lives, while keeping in mind that our love for each other will always be strong, holding us closely and dearly.

I wish you all a happy holiday season, regardless of the faith you may or may not hold, or the holiday that you may or may not celebrate. I would like to remind everyone to cherish the memories and good times with family and friends, and always hold those wonderful, yet fleeting “experiences” in your hearts. I like to believe that God generally places good people in our lives to help us and support us, and I hope and pray the same for you. Merry Christmas!