In how many schools throughout our country do primary and/or elementary school students serve detentions? For that matter, how many second and/or third graders throughout our country are required to serve 30-60 minute detentions for rather minor issues? How many of you adults ever served a detention at all in the primary or elementary grades?
I am a person who believes in nurturing and supporting children, positively – as positively as possible. I recall that when I was in school, I served one detention. The detention that I served was when I was in high school for talking excessively in chorus class. That detention was one that I served after school in study hall for 45 minutes.
Today, primary and elementary school students are serving detentions of 30-60 minutes. I fail to see the benefit of such severe disciplinary consequences on such young children. Issuing detentions for situations such as when a student is talking without permission while walking in line with the class in the hallway, to me, is overly severe. Such disciplinary consequences do not allow children to be children.
In the best-behaved children, receiving such a detention shatters their self-esteem, especially when the teacher does not issue such consequences fairly to other students who exhibit the same behavior. Such lengthy detentions issued to young children reflect an unforgiving attitude and atmosphere of the adults. Such consequences cause feelings of injury and resentment in students, especially the best-behaved students.
Issuing 30-60 minute detentions to third graders for students who poke a hole through a piece of cardboard, or who write in another student’s personal storybook after being given permission by that student to do so is unfair, harsh, and unforgiving. Especially for those students who attend Christian faith-based schools in which forgiveness is to be one of the core values of the school – and when such forgiveness is not practiced, but rather, severe consequences of lengthy 60 minute detentions are issued – undermines the faith foundation of the school. What is preached is not, in fact, practiced by those issuing the disciplinary consequences.
In too many schools, children are expected to be perfect at all times, at all costs, no matter what. Of course, I expect that when there are serious situations that arise, such as kids hurting or harming another in some way, there are to be serious consequences. However, I still do not see the benefit of issuing serious consequences to students for minor issues. Doing so does more harm than good, and it potentially creates a bad reputation for the school.
Regarding the issuing of these consequences, there are often no exceptions, unless, of course, the student happens to be the child of a teacher or other employee at the school. Then, there can be much that is overlooked. Even if the children involved in a situation are not offspring of school employees, bias and/or favoritism may still be present in the decision-making regarding disciplinary consequences. And, for some poorly-behaved students, the most severe disciplinary consequences could be issued, and there would still be no change or improvement in behavior, so to what end does that lead? Again, that just creates resentment and mistrust in the student toward authority figures.
Some students will even act out more after receiving disciplinary consequences. Their negative behavior is negatively reinforced by the severe consequences, and so the cycle continues. Some students get so nervous about the severe disciplinary consequences that they act out and do not even realize it, and then, they receive the severe disciplinary consequences – exactly what they were afraid of and trying to avoid. Some adults believe that severe consequences – even for the most minor of issues – will stop the child’s behavior, though being understanding, compassionate, and speaking with care to the child about the situation is the best route to take.
I am familiar with one school principal who visited a class of kindergartners, yelled at them, caused several of them to cry, and then, left the room, leaving the three adults in the classroom to comfort and console them. How is that beneficial to the students? How does the leader of the school yelling at them give them a sense of comfort and confidence. Tragically, it ingrained their fears of the principal, that he is a big, mean, scary man to avoid and not trust. He may compliment them publicly, but privately, he yells at them and makes them cry? Is this a man who should be a leader of a Christian faith-based school, one who unnecessarily intimidates and scares the youngest students in the school? It appears that he is exactly the person whom school system administrators want to lead the school.
Issuing lengthy detentions of 30-60 minutes or more to primary and/or elementary school students is too long and too severe. Such disciplinary consequences – especially in response to minor issues – hurts children’s self esteem, injures their confidence, and creates mistrust and resentment, especially when the child has generally outstanding behavior and/or when the consequences are unfair, with the other child(ren) involved receiving no consequences.
If school administrators are trying to increase enrollment and maintain student retention rates, issuing severe disciplinary consequences is not the route to take. I have observed a good many families leave particular schools simply because of the severe disciplinary consequences their children (especially the boys) receive for minor issues, to the denial of teachers and/or administrators. Why is it that so many female teachers lack the patience, empathy, and understanding necessary in understanding and teaching young children, particularly boys? For them, the students must immediately abide by their rules, or repeatedly face consequences, sometimes throughout the entire school year, and often, simply because the teacher is angry with and/or does not like the child. I have observed this to occur toward many children in relation to several teachers.
Typically when parents inform school administrators about such situations, their children are only punished more because the teachers are supported by the administrators. If the administrator denies that there is a problem regarding the teacher, then the parents are supposed to believe it, as well as that the problem lies with their child. This is definitely a regressive and unproductive attitude to take, however, I have observed it occur over and over again. People tell me that I have multitudes of patience, compassion, and understanding – I would be overjoyed to teach those educators and administrators how to respect and understand young children.
It is unfortunate that more people who are in the business of educating and/or caring for our children are not more understanding, sensitive, and compassionate toward them. Being excessively harsh is incorrect and unethical; being compassionate, caring, and kind is what Jesus has taught us to do. Those affiliated with Christian faith-based schools should be practicing that the most of anyone rather than doing the opposite of it.
I do not believe in harsh punishments, nor severe disciplinary consequences. I do not issue them, nor do I agree with them. When disciplinary consequences issued by a school are more harsh than I would ever dream of giving my own child, one must step back and reflect on whether or not the school truly upholds the faith and values that it promotes.
Such faith and values begin at the top in any organization, and if those values are not in accordance with what the school stands for, then leadership restructuring, reorganization, and/or positive, progressive professional development is needed in order to promote, maintain, and enhance the best interests of the students. I am one who truly believes that our schools must be progressive, not regressive. People can say alot of good things, but actions truly speak louder than words. When those actions do not correlate with the faith and values on which the school was founded, one must wonder in what direction the school is heading.
So the question remains, “Where are those schools in which true faith-based compassion, sensitivity, and understanding – as well as an excellent, affordable education – is practiced toward children by everyone, rather than severe and unforgiving punishments for minor issues that are detrimental to them?” These are children for goodness sakes, not criminals. I am interested to know where the said progressive and nurturing schools are; and only those schools with said qualities need apply.